andreI am currently writing this at an awk sideways fetal position while wrapped in a Pokemon blanket, a state I’ve been rocking since 11:55 PM last night. I’m almost 23 and I spent my New Years raging with Bulbasaur in a freezing apartment because I’m too incompetent to work a heater or handle my booze.

You know, Sober Katie appreciates Drunk Katie’s decision to go with boots instead of heels. She’s impressed by her ability to somehow make it home from the bar and strip down to just her knee socks before crawling into bed. Her determination to keep her possessions safe by shoving them in her pillow and sleeping on lumps deserves applause.

However, Sober Katie admonishes Drunk Katie for chugging margaritas and champagne “because it’s festive!!” out of pint glasses. She frowns upon her for calling and texting while apparently wearing not only her sassy pants but her entire snippy wardrobe. She is sadly not surprised by the fact that as the clock struck 12, DK was getting up close and personal with the toilet rather than sticking her tongue in some rando hottie’s mouth. Oh hayy, André ;)

I don’t really want to look back on the past year and drone on about the ups and downs and my resolutions to turn it all around like I’m doing some sort of life altering hokey pokey. Quite frankly, my head hurts too much to even recall the past 24 hours, and I’d be lying if I said these kinds of nights won’t reoccur. I made the mistake of rereading some of the messages I sent last night, and honestly, “Some chick is rapping and all i want is tamales” pretty much sums up everything and negates the need for self reflection. But alas, what else is this blog for if not to woo you with my dazzlingly poor life choices?

For Christmas my dad gave me a free trip to anywhere within the US, along with the news he would no longer be putting oh so subtle deposits into my bank account. 2015 will be the first year of my life that I’ll be 99.9% financially independent. Not gonna lie, that’s pretty freaking terrifying. It’s also the first year I won’t have designated breaks telling me when to go visit my family, or a clear path laid at my dainty feet telling me what’s next. That’s a little scary too. It’s a year that’ll force me to constantly build new relationships in this lil town where people my age come and go every few months because I chose to settle at their pit stop.

It’s all sort of cringey and difficult and sometimes profanity inducing but it’s also strangely wonderful. In 2014 I found myself falling in love with new things and new people and not all of it was perfect but goddamn some of it really really was. I’d never been in love with anything other than a burrito before and it felt pretty incredible. I’m looking forward to more of that feeling once this horrid hangover nonsense subsides.

Now if you’ll excuse me, this corny crap is making me even more queasy, and I’m going to finally get out of bed to go eat some pie Drunk Katie so graciously left out. Happy New Year bebes, enjoy eating lettuce on a treadmill and pretending to like your extended family for a few weeks. <3


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